Throughout this series, A Much-Needed Conversation About Masculinity, I’ve been exploring some fundamental questions: “What does it mean to be a man today?” and “How does a man use his masculinity properly?“
I began the series by challenging the idea that masculinity itself is the problem. Our masculine traits can be used in both healthy and unhealthy ways. So the goal isn’t to suppress masculinity, but to learn how to develop and direct it toward something worthwhile.
In A Proper Vision for Masculinity and Manhood, I explored the differences between masculinity, manliness, and manhood. Then, in From Masculinity to Manhood: Now What?, I described the journey from immature boyhood to mature manhood.
Most recently, What Does It Mean to Be a (Godly) Man? distinguished between being a good man and becoming a godly man. A good man seeks to use his masculinity properly, whereas a godly man seeks to use those qualities in alignment with God and for the good of others.
And in Godly Men Follow Jesus, I suggested that Christians have the ultimate model of godly manhood right before us: Jesus Christ.
But what exactly can we learn from Jesus?
The Masculine Traits of Jesus
Jesus wasn’t simply a spiritual teacher. His life and how He used His masculine traits provide a powerful picture of what mature, godly manhood can look like.
Strength
Jesus demonstrated tremendous strength—but it was never about intimidation or domination. He confronted injustice. The Son of Man challenged religious hypocrisy. He endured suffering. Yet He also used His strength to serve and protect others.
Godly strength is strength under control.
Courage
Jesus wasn’t afraid to stand for what was right, even when doing so came with consequences. He confronted powerful people, entered difficult situations and ultimately accepted the cross. Jesus didn’t avoid difficult things when it was uncomfortable. He leaned into righteousness.
Godly courage means doing what is right even when it is hard.
Humility
Jesus possessed authority unlike anyone else, yet He willingly served others. He washed His disciples’ feet and repeatedly placed the needs of others ahead of His own status.
Godly leadership isn’t about being above others. It’s about being willing to serve them.
Compassion
Jesus noticed people others ignored. He cared for the sick, welcomed outsiders, showed mercy to sinners and had compassion for those who were hurting. Jesus cared deeply about everyone who needed it.
Godly compassion is not weakness or means you are less masculine.
Integrity
Jesus didn’t live one way in public and another way in private. His words and actions were consistent. He told the truth, kept His commitments, and remained faithful to His mission.
Godly character is maintaining integrity even when nobody is watching.
Emotional Honesty
Perhaps surprisingly, Jesus wasn’t afraid to show emotion. He wept when Lazarus died. Jesus experienced anguish in the garden of Gethsemane. He expressed frustration, sadness, and compassion. He demonstrated that emotional maturity isn’t pretending we don’t have feelings.
Godly men learn how to acknowledge and manage their emotions without being controlled by them.
Sacrificial Love
Ultimately, Jesus demonstrated the greatest form of strength through sacrifice. He willingly gave His life for others.
That may be the defining characteristic of godly manhood: using what we have been given—not primarily for ourselves, but for others.
Becoming More Like Jesus
None of us will perfectly embody all of these traits because Jesus was the Only Perfect Man.
These traits—strength, courage, humility, compassion, integrity, emotional maturity, and sacrificial love—aren’t just qualities to admire in Jesus. They are qualities we are called to develop within ourselves.
So the goal is to become godly men who increasingly reflect His character—to strive for Christlikeness, not become men who struggle to achieve an impossible standard of perfection.
Godly Friends Know Proper Masculinity
We need friends who encourage us when we’re discouraged, challenge us when we’re drifting, hold us accountable when we’re wrong, and celebrate with us when we’re growing.
That brings this conversation about masculinity right back to where this series began.
The goal isn’t simply to become more masculine. The goal is to become better men who learn to use their masculine qualities well.
My next post explains how godly men learn to properly balance their inherent masculine traits with those traditionally associated as feminine.
[Featured Image created by ChatGPT]
Discover more from GodBuddies
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
4 Responses
As you have steered the God buddies discussion in the direction of Jesus’ qualities, notice how the quality of competitiveness – which you had described as a core masculinity trait in previous discussions – has disappeared from the discussion. That’s because competitiveness didn’t seem to be a quality that Jesus cared much about. In fact, one could make a very good argument that Jesus wasn’t much of a fan at all of competitiveness as a human quality (see Luke 22:24; Mark 9:33-34). It seems to me that competitiveness is a quality in males that we could use a whole lot less of in today’s world, to be replaced with a whole lot more of cooperation. Looking forward to seeing what you think about my assertion!
Interesting point, Rick. I agree that Jesus disliked competing when used in the wrong ways, you could make the case that competing is good for many reasons (i.e. the Bears competing against the dreaded Packers, or competing for the next job promotion), masculine competion is also good for human flourishing and righteous purposes. It also keeps men from being docile and passive. So — like all masculine traits, competition is good when used properly.
From Angela Duckworth, psychologist and one of the most important researchers on human behavior of the 21st century (see the NYT article I sent to you this morning):
“Research also shows that entrepreneurs are more successful when brought together to learn from one another. That is why one venture capital firm, Y Combinator, favors funding co-founders over solo founders. It also links founders in what it calls batches, with group office hours, group dinners and an internal messaging platform for sharing knowledge. “Even if you could do all the work yourself, you need colleagues to brainstorm with, to talk you out of stupid decisions and to cheer you up when things go wrong,” Paul Graham, one of Y Combinator’s founders, once wrote.”
Healthy competition is when you compete against yourself in the pursuit of higher goals (Walter Payton’s and John Wooden’s preferred/storied brand of competition). True/ultimate victory isn’t measured by who won the football game or who got the promotion at work. I think that there’s a much deeper and more significant brand of success to strive for. Proverbs 27:17 is much more about growth through cooperation than it is about growth through competition.
Good stuff. Validates the need for buddies. Thanks for sharing!