This series about Becoming a Well-Balanced Man describes why being stable and steady in several aspects of life is critical for men. I’ve explained The Benefits of Becoming a Balanced Man which includes increased his satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment with life. In The Emotionally-Balanced Man and The Mentally-Balanced Man, I wrote about the difference between emotional and mental health since stability in both areas helps us avoid reacting negatively in most situations. In The Physically-Balanced Man, I described the importance of having a well-rounded exercise program, good nutrition, rest & relaxation, and managing your overall wellness. The post about The Financially-Balanced Man described ways to support your adult lifestyle without undue worry or stress. Financial stability also provides security to pursue your long-term aspirations. This next post describes why men need a healthy and balanced social life on their way to becoming the best version of a mature adult man.
Lonely Men are Out of Balance
Recent recent research shows that men are lonelier than ever. Today, just 27% of men say they have 6 close friends (half of what it was 30 years ago) and 15% indicate they have no close friends at all (up an astounding 500% since 1990). Another study found that a majority of men (nearly ⅔) agree with the statement, “No one really knows me well.” Further, statistics about loneliness show men have a greater risk of premature death, cardiovascular illness, anxiety, dementia, depression and stroke. Additionally, men are nearly four times more likely than women to commit suicide, accounting for nearly 80% of all suicides.
This connection problem crosses all generations, with Generation Z having the highest percentage of agreement with the above statement. It is so bad that United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy warns that we are in an “epidemic of loneliness and isolation.” The solution is that we all need more face-to-face connection since the majority of people are out of balance. And I believe better friendships for men can help us become more steady and stable and break this cycle of loneliness.
Developing Social Balance
Social balance has several components. It includes having a healthy social life, developing a good network for personal and professional reasons, and maintaining good relations with your immediate and extended family, friends, and work colleagues. Balance and stability comes when you understand and effectively respond to the emotions, perspectives, and social dynamics of others by:
- Showing Empathy and Compassion – The ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Demonstrating empathy includes appreciating (though not always agreeing with) someone else’s perspective. Showing compassion is understanding their emotion (without joining them in any victim mentality) and taking action to help, even its just listening.
- Active Listening – Fully concentrating, understanding, and responding thoughtfully in a conversation. Active listeners focus on the speaker without interrupting, reflecting on and responding to what is being said, and showing engagement through verbal and non-verbal cues.
- Perspective Taking – Seeing things from another person’s viewpoint. By understanding and respecting cultural differences in social behavior, communication, and traditions. You remain open-minded and non-judgmental about others’ practices, beliefs and actions.
- Recognizing Social Cues – Recognizing and interpreting non-verbal signals such as body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and social context. Social cues include noticing when someone feels uncomfortable, excited, or confused and adjusting your behavior in response to these cues.
- Understanding Social Norms – Having knowledge of unwritten societal rules and norms that govern behavior in different situations. Know what is considered appropriate or inappropriate in various social contexts. Adjust your behavior to fit into different social environments.
- Respecting Diversity – Valuing and respecting people with different backgrounds, identities, and perspectives. You learn to embrace inclusivity and avoid making stereotypical or bias comments when interacting with others.
- Regulating in Social Contexts – It is important to manage your own emotions in all social situations. Learn to remain composed and considerate of others. Stay calm during conflicts and disagreements. Respond to social challenges in a positive, constructive manner. You can read more in posts from a previous series The Complete Roadmap to Better Manhood, specifically the two posts on Controlling Your Emotions and Behavior Management.
Each of these practices helps men maintain balance in social interactions, improves their communication, and fosters more positive relationships.
More Ways to Develop Social Balance
In addition to nurturing healthy relationships with friends, family, and partners, it is important that men learn to express themselves clearly and learn to effectively listen to others. Check our my Better Manhood Skills post about Being a Good Communicator.
Men can also increase their social balance by participating in a local community or social group. We can contributing positively through leadership, mentorship, support, advocacy, philanthropy, and charitable support. Get involved in good causes and learn how great leaders work in these environments.
A Final Word of Caution
I personally know it is very easy to get caught up in outside activities, including volunteer committees. I wrote about my own work-life “UN”-balance in Why I Needed a GodBuddy. It was an experience that started me on the journey of writing this blog to help men become better men. It reset my priorities for my personal, professional, and volunteer activities. I learned to include rest to maintain my health. It shows me the importance of a healthy social life that is in balance with my responsibilities.
I’ve also learned that better men surround themselves with a small group of mature men who will call them out when they become out of balance. So make time to invest in your friendships. It will pay off as you learn to become a well-balanced man.
Next Up
My next post will describe why we need a spiritual component to maintain balance as a man.
Wisdom for Men is based on my opinions on topics that help men become better men. The sources used for these posts are not fact-checked, but support my theory that men are better with deeper, more authentic friendships. My GodBuddy theory is based on biblical principles but applies to all men, regardless of their beliefs. Better friendships among men will help solve the crisis of male friendships and many of today’s problems… because the world needs better men!
[Feature Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash]
