Jesus Managed His Emotions

Throughout this series, A Much-Needed Conversation About Masculinity, I’ve asked a fundamental question: What does it mean to be a man who uses his masculine traits properly today? Now, I want to dig into another important trait: managing emotions without denying or suppressing what we feel.

The Perfect Masculinity of Jesus

I’ve emphasized throughout this series that masculinity itself isn’t the problem. The traits often associated with men—strength, courage, independence, ambition, competitiveness, and leadership—are positive qualities. 

But when those inherently male traits are misused or distorted, some people believe we become “toxic” and all uses of masculinity is bad. 

So we look to Jesus, who challenges many traditional assumptions about masculinity. His life gives us a perfect example of how to use our male traits for something greater than ourselves.

During this subset of posts about The Masculine Traits of Jesus Christ for this conversation, I explained how Jesus is the ultimate role model for manhood. He Balanced His Masculine and Feminine Traits. Another post described how He Exhibited Courage Without Bravado.

Let’s now look at how Jesus displayed emotion often boldly and outwardly, but always under control and with purpose.

Emotional Control Is a Sign of Strength

Many boys and men grew up believing that we must be tough, hide our feelings, and never show vulnerability. They may have learned to push down their sadness or ignore their fears. Some express frustration through anger rather than admitting that something hurts us.

But suppressing our emotions is not healthy. It is also the same as controlling them.

Unacknowledged feelings can surface as resentment, impatience, withdrawal, or angry outbursts. Emotional strength begins when we recognize what we are feeling and take responsibility for how we respond to those feelings.

Jesus Showed Emotion 

In the New Testament gospels, Jesus is frequently depicted as expressing intense emotion boldly and openly, in contrast to the stoic or detached religious figures of His era.

Here are examples of ways Jesus demonstrated His emotions that were often visceral, visible to crowds, and central to his teachings:

• Outraged Indignation: He physically overturned tables, scattered coins, and drove money changers out of the Temple (John 2:13–16). He also openly confronted religious leaders with a mix of anger and distress over their lack of compassion (Mark 3:5).
• Deep Sorrow and Grief: He broke cultural expectations of stoicism by weeping openly after the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35). He also cried over the future destruction of Jerusalem (Luke 19:41).
• Agony and Sorrow: Facing crucifixion, his intense emotional anguish was visibly manifested in the Garden of Gethsemane. He fell to the ground, saying his soul was “overwhelmed with sorrow,” while sweating great drops of blood (Matthew 26:38, Luke 22:44).
• Visceral Compassion: The gospels frequently describe Jesus being moved by a deep, gut-wrenching empathy for crowds and individuals, driving him to heal, feed, and openly express love (Matthew 9:36, Mark 10:21).
• Exuberant Joy: He publicly and passionately rejoiced in the Holy Spirit in outward exultation, celebrating his disciples’ successes (Luke 10:21).

Responding Instead of Reacting

We all face situations that test our emotional control. Someone criticizes us, a family member challenges us, a coworker frustrates us, or a friend disappoints us. Our first reaction might be to lash out, become defensive, or shut down.

In those moments, we have a choice. We can let our emotions dictate our behavior, or we can pause long enough to choose a better response.

Managing your emotions doesn’t mean avoiding difficult conversations or pretending everything is fine. Sometimes we need to express anger about an injustice, confront harmful behavior, or establish a firm boundary. The difference is whether we communicate with purpose and love, or simply try to hurt someone because we feel hurt ourselves.

As men, we can practice emotional discipline by identifying our feelings, considering what triggered them, and choosing our next steps carefully. We can learn to say, “I’m frustrated, and I need a few minutes before we continue this conversation,” instead of saying something we will later regret.

This approach is not a sign of weakness. It shows emotional strength and maturity. It takes courage to acknowledge our emotions along with discipline to manage them responsibly and maturely.

Good Friends Help Us Manage Our Emotions

Developing emotional maturity is not a solo journey. Friends can point out behavioral patterns we miss and challenge our overreactions. They can listen during struggles and encourage us to face difficult feelings rather than bury them. Good friends are safe spaces where you can be honest without fear of ridicule, while still being held accountable for your behavior.

As the perfect model of manhood, Jesus shows us how to use our human emotions while remaining grounded in love.

Our goal is not to become completely emotionless or to perfectly control our anger, fear, sadness, and disappointment.

Instead, the goal is to learn to develop and express our masculinity with character, responsibility, and purpose as a mature, godly man.

[Featured Image by ChatGPT]