Jesus Balanced His Masculine and Feminine Traits

Throughout my series, A Much-Needed Conversation About Masculinity, I’ve been exploring a fundamental question: What does it mean to be a man who uses his masculine traits properly today?

I’ve discussed the difference between masculinity, manliness, and manhood. Masculinity describes many of the traits and qualities commonly associated with being male. Manliness is how those traits are expressed through a man’s actions, attitudes, and character. Manhood is the development of those traits into adult life marked by responsibility, purpose, and character. Altogether, they turn a boy into a mature man who uses his abilities for the good of others.

Masculinity is Not the Problem

All along the way, I’ve also emphasized an important point: masculinity itself is not the problem. Masculine traits like strength, courage, independence, ambition, competitiveness, leadership, sexuality, intelligence, and the desire to protect and provide can all be positive qualities.

The problem is when guys misuse them as “disordered masculinity.”

That led me to Jesus, who was the only perfect man, but gave us the clearest picture of what mature, godly manhood can look like. Men who strive to be more like Him. 

Jesus Used Strength and Tenderness

Jesus Christ demonstrated strength, courage, conviction, leadership, purpose, and sacrifice. But He also demonstrated something that can sometimes get lost in conversations about masculinity: tenderness.

Jesus was strong without being harsh.

• He confronted powerful people and challenged religious hypocrisy. 
• He stood firmly for what He believed was right. 
• He endured rejection, suffering, and ultimately the cross without abandoning His mission.

Yet that same Jesus welcomed children. 

• He stopped for people others ignored. 
• He touched those who were considered unclean. 
• He showed compassion toward people who were hurting. 
• He wept when His friend Lazarus died. 
• He experienced anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane.

None of these things made Jesus less strong.

In fact, these traits often associated with the feminine help me understand what strength really looks like.

Balancing the Masculine and Feminine

Our culture sometimes creates a false choice between strength and tenderness—as if a man must choose between being tough or compassionate, confident or vulnerable, courageous or caring. But Jesus demonstrates that these qualities don’t have to compete with each other.

A mature man can be:

• Strong AND gentle.
• Courageous AND compassionate.
• Lead AND serve.
• Confident AND humble.
• Experience deep emotions AND not allow those emotions to control his actions.

And perhaps most importantly, a mature man can recognize that strength isn’t simply the ability to withstand hardship himself. 

Strength often means having the courage to care for someone else who is hurting.

Feminine ≠  Masculine AND Masculine ≠ Femine

I don’t believe every quality traditionally described as “feminine” should simply be relabeled masculine, or that men and women are identical. Rather, I believe we need to be careful about limiting men to a narrow definition of masculinity.

If I believe Jesus is my model, then I need a fuller picture.

Mature manhood isn’t about suppressing tenderness to prove strength. It’s about developing the strength to use masculine qualities well—including having the confidence to show compassion, empathy, and vulnerability when appropriate.

That’s where I want to begin this next part of my journey—and invite you to join me.

The Goal: Learn to Balance These Traits

Over the coming posts, I’ll explore even more specific traits demonstrated in the life of Jesus: courage, strength, leadership, emotional honesty, compassion, humility, ambition, independence, integrity, sacrificial love, and friendship.

My goal for this series isn’t for you to become more macho. It isn’t to become emotionless. And it certainly isn’t to become perfect.

The goal is to convince you to become more Christlike. To become a more godly man. I hope that all males learn how to become mature men who learn to use the qualities we’ve been given by God for something greater than themselves. 

And I believe we need other men to encourage us, challenge us, and help us grow to become more life Jesus.

If there is one thing I’ve learned: I certainly can’t do life by myself, and I need other men to help me learn how to be more like Jesus.

[Featured Image by ChatGPT]