Don’t Be “That Guy”

We all have at least one guy in our group of friends who is generally fun to hang out or interesting, except that he has that one glaringly character trait that drives you crazy!

Be aware though, you can also be “That Guy” and not even know it!

“Oh no… I am “that Guy”!

In my last post about Barriers to Friendships, we learned about some of the qualities that make you a good friend. But there are also some traits that can will drive a wedge between you and other guys that can actually keep you from gaining any really close friends.

Steve Kamb provides a very funny description about the different species of “That Guy” in this guest post on The Art of Manliness. Some of the species are far more deplorable than others but they all have one thing in common: a trait that irritates the snot out of friends.

As you read each of the descriptions, note the hilarious “scientific” names for each (edited by me for brevity). More importantly, look at yourself first before you look at others since you may also be one of these guys and not even know it!

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

–Proverbs 27:6 (New Living Translation)
  • The Poor Sport (Crybabial Sporticus) – Dreadful to play against in any sporting event or competition since he complains incessantly about bad foul calls, has a temporary loss of arithmetic skills when keeping score, and never accepts blame for a loss, In his own mind, he can do no wrong.
  • The Mooch (Dudicus Moochalum) – Never has any money, doesn’t bring any food to an outing, and instead leeches off of those around him. His wallet always gets “accidentally” left at home and he’s always a pain to track down for repayment of any money borrowed.  
  • Mr. Unreliable (Amigus Bail’Outicum) – It’s never known if he is actually going to show up, no matter how many promises he’s made. Often signs up and then backs out at the last minute. “On time” to him usually means at least an hour late. Getting him to commit to anything requires an upfront financial deposit. Gives a noncommittal answer so he can bail out at the last minute with a lame excuse via text message, thus avoiding confrontation.
  • The One-Upper (Betterum Than’Youicus) – Reeks of superiority and elitism, is a constant name-dropper. Must always ensure that he appears the strongest or the best, had the toughest life, drank the most beers, and/or met the coolest people. Has a strong sense of insecurity, causing a need for constant affection and attention.
  • The Fibber (Fullofum Crapolakis) – Can stretch the truth like a penny-pincher stretchs a dollar. Known to tell dull stories he feels are way more exciting but are completely unbelievable. Also also known for creating inane excuses when trying to weasel out of any scenario. Is closely related to Mr. Unreliable and the Poor Sport for similar “lack of truth” qualities.
  • The Flip Flopper (Fencium Sitterus) – Having no opinion of his own, the Flip Flopper will alter his beliefs depending on who he’s talking to and who he’s trying to impress. Is generally classified as an invertebrate for lacking a backbone.
  • The Loud Mouth (Pieholus Gigantum) – This chump cannot keep his mouth shut, whether it’s keeping a secret, talking during a movie, or putting down another friend who is not around. The Loud Mouth generally should not be trusted with any important information unless it needs to be shouted from the rooftops.
  • The “Takes It Too Far” Guy (Over The’Lineicus) This poor soul lives life to the extreme a little too often. He’s generally the one that always gets WAY too drunk at parties, takes jokes too far after they’ve become unfunny, and gets offended over things that nobody else would ever take personally. Tact is pretty much non-existent.
  • “The Garbage Man” (In’lovum with Jesses’girlikus) – The Garbage Man has no problem attempting to date his friend’s ex-girlfriend because he lacks the skills to move outside of the social circle and meet new people. The most despicable variation of this species will attempt to date his friend’s current girlfriend, which generally results in an ass-kicking.

Do you recognize any of these traits in yourself? If so, what can you do to help become less irritable and more friend-worthy?

First, enlist a God Buddy to be honest with you about your shortcomings. Sure, he may tell you the truth and yes, the truth often hurts. But so can not having any close friends!

Feel free to share your experiences about being “That Guy” in the comments below!


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