This past week was the anniversary of the passing of one of my earliest GodBuddies, Christopher J. Davolos, who died unexpectedly on April 1, 2014. Chris died a few days shy of his birthday on April 9 and would have been 68 years old next week. This next post in my series, The Year for Better Male Friendships, honors the man whose friendship embodied my GodBuddy concept and why I dedicated this website to Chris. It also explains one of the main principles: every man needs a good friend who encourages, supports, and challenges them to become a better man.
Chris was a “Barnabas”
In one of my earlier posts, Three Relationships Every Man Needs, I suggested that you need a Timothy, a Barnabas, and a Paul in your life. Based on the example of the Apostle Paul, the model suggests that every man needs an apprentice (Timothy), an associate or close companion (Barnabas), and a mentor (Paul). This model has a pretty simple meaning but can be very transformative to all three relationships
The book of Acts in the New Testament tells how Barnabas and Paul became close friends as they traveled together on Paul’s first missionary journey. His name means “Son of Encouragement” (see Acts 4:36) because Barnabas was at Paul’s side during his best times and also his worst times. His support to Peter and the other disciples helped Paul become more confident in his new-found faith. He provided encouragement that propelled Paul to spread the good news of Jesus’ life. Barnabas was the type of friend Paul needed at that time in his life.
Like Barnabas, Chris Davolos was alongside me for some of my best times and also during my worst times. He congratulated me on my successes. He also challenged and encouraged me after my failures. We understood each other and the unique struggles men have.
We did life together…
Every man needs a “Barnabas” as a friend. Chris was a great friend with whom many “guy things” together. We enjoyed hanging out together and doing life together. We would run or bike together on many weekends. Chris and I would occasionally golf together or just watch a ball game on TV. We also sat on committees at church, studied the Bible together, and participated in small groups. We talked through many issues and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. As we grew closer, we spent more time together.
…but we also disagreed like Paul and Barnabas.
Like Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-41), Chris and I had some sharp disagreements throughout our journey together as GodBuddies. We frequently did not see “eye to eye” and often debated topics. However, we always spoke the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) as we challenged each other, especially when it came to something not up to our agreed-upon standards for living as followers of Christ.
We “sharpened” each other
As I wrote in my last post, Proverbs 27:17 suggests, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man shall sharpen another.” which is how men become better men.
Chris and I had many good times together that far overshadowed our disagreements. He encouraged me when I needed it most. He challenged me to think more deeply on many topics. We studied together and disagreed often. But we sharpened each other into better husbands, fathers, and men. I am honored that Chris was one of my GodBuddies.
My prayer is that anyone who reads this page will find friends who fill these three roles: a Barnabas for encouragement and support, a Paul from whom will learn and gain wisdom, and a Timothy you can mentor. Each will help make you a better man!
Why do men need better friendships? My next post will describe what I believe is the secret for men to overcome life’s biggest challenges.
One Response
Chris was an inspiration to many.