Like every critical business trip or meaningful family vacation, the journey to better male friendship requires intention and direction. This next post is essentially your compass to intentionally point you toward the men who can walk alongside you throughout life. In the posts that follow this one, I’ll provide you a map—the practical directions with ways to follow this new language that helps you create deeper, more authentic friendships with other men.
About the Journey to Male Friendships
I started this series on New Language for Male Friendship to help men build better friendships. I wrote The Male Friendship Creed, which was the core statement about the aspects of better male friendship. The next post was a Manifesto Against Male Isolation, which was my declaration against loneliness and passivity, which are reasons why so many boys and young males are struggling. I followed that with A Call to Action to get out of your proverbial “man cave” and make new friends. My last post, Starting Your Journey to Better Friendships, outlined the topics–the mile-markers, per se, you will encounter along the path to better friendships.
Realizing that 1 in 7 men have no close friends and that most guys struggle making friends, let’s start by orienting you on how to find the right guys to join you on this adventure.
You Need Other Men To Join You
In a world that often discourages manliness and encourages isolation, too many guys retreat into their man caves when life gets tough. In their cave, they seek comfort, but the darkness is where risk is avoided. It’s where struggles are hidden, vulnerabilities become masked, and relationships remain surface-level. There, you lack the genuine relationships that can actually help you overcome the challenges men face today.
The reality is that men need other men to step into intentional brotherhood. Walking this path together will help them recognize the subtle ways that isolation and loneliness can creep into their life. It will help them recognize and embrace better friendships—the kind that requires honesty, vulnerability, and accountability. It will help them understand the importance of exhibiting proper manhood and learning to mentor the next generation of young boys into proper, mature and responsible men.
Not everyone is comfortable making new friends, so here are some ways to get started.
Finding Guys for the Journey
In my book, Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendship, and on this website, I created some tools to help men make new friendships with other guys.
1. Determine Your Receptivity to Making Friends
First, download the Relationship Self-Assessment. This link is to a PDF file where you cann rate yourself from 1 to 5 on several categories for insight into your willingness to make new friends.
2. Assess Your Current Friendships
The next step is to reflect on your current friendships. Download the PDF: Take Stock of Your Current Friendships, and list the people you consider your friends. Then reflect on the topics you discuss with each, the frequency you talk, and the type of friend they are. This assessment will help you determine who you might consider joining you on this journey.
3. Take the Risk and Ask Guys to Join You
The last step is to reach out to the guys you identified using these tools and ask them to join you. Call an older man you admire. Find someone in your same life-stage with wom you have a lot in common. Ask a few young guys as well. Ask them to walk alongside you on this adventure.
Walking the Path Together
Don’t be discouraged if any of them says “No”. It may just be bad timing. Keep up your thoughtful search for men to join you in this adventure.
To establish a consistent rhythm for your group, you should:
- Limit the group size to 4-5 men
- Meet weekly for 60–75 minutes
- Agree to complete the entire 12-week journey together
In upcoming posts, I will provide the content for your weekly discussions. These posts will help:
- Identify where you retreat when life gets hard.
- Challenge false ideas about masculinity and self-reliance.
- Move your discussions beyond surface-level topics.
- Build honesty, trust, and accountability.
- Practice rhythms that sustain brotherhood long-term.
What is Required
All you need to bring is presence, courage, and consistency. You do not need to be a perfect man. You are not expected to have it all together. Just show up and speak honestly. Stay engaged and commit to the entire journey.
I guarantee you will complete this journey with better friends.
Now, step out of your cave and go find a group of men to join you on this great adventure.
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