To kick off my eighth full year of writing this blog, I want to sharpen the focus of this quest to build better friendships by developing some common language you can use. I’ll start by developing a creed or core statement about my beliefs about how we help each other become better men. I’ll follow that with a broader declaration or manifesto to inspire the much-needed challenge to the norms about male friendships.
Future posts will include the action items to build an inner circle of friends and a guided journey to strengthen those bonds. I will also create an easy-to-remember shared brotherhood covenant to help your commitment to build men who help each other become better men.
Always Begin with the ‘Why’
American author and inspirational speaker, Simon Sinek, believes that great leaders and organizations inspire action by communicating clearly. They state their purpose (the ‘Why’) before their methods (‘How’) or products (‘What’). Defining the “Why’ shows understanding and communicates your core purpose, cause, or belief first to resonate with people’s emotions and drive them to connect and act. It also fosters loyalty and engagement rather than just transactions.
I hope that understanding why men need better friendships will set a new direction. We need to help males become better husbands, fathers, workers, and neighbors. We need more mature men who will invest in other men to reverse the recent trends that show boys and men are struggling in education, the workplace, in their families, and with their health. Men who will help everyone become better.
The ‘Why’ for Better Male Friendships
After writing my book, Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendship, and restating my case for 2025 as The Year for Better Male Friendships, I remain convinced that men are not meant to do life alone.
Whether you follow a religion, question it, or reject it, this principle applies to everyone. We all need deeper, more authentic relationships.
Today, most people only have surface-level relationships, driven by technology, busy schedules, and societal pressure. These factors have created a “friendship recession” where genuine, deep connections are difficult to find and hard to maintain. They feel lonely despite being connected digitally.
It’s not just my belief that every man needs deeper, more authentic friendships. It is a biblical mandate (Genesis 2:18 states, “It is not good for the man to be alone”, leading to the creation of woman as God’s design for humanity and the foundation for marriage and companionship). It’s a principle that emphasizes the need for partnership, fellowship, and connection to enrich human flourishing.
Even psychologists, sociologists, academics, researchers, and public figures advocate for addressing the challenges of modern males. The likes of Richard Reeves, Michael Kimmel, Christine Emba, and Barack & Michelle Obama see the need for healthier and proper forms of manhood. They focus on positive male development, finding purpose, developing physical and emotional wellness, and breaking free from restrictive gender roles.
Men with better friends can be the solution to many problems in today’s world.
Creed vs Manifesto — What’s the Difference?
Let’s start by distinguishing between a creed and a manifesto. Both express deeply held values and intentions, but serve different purposes, are written in different tones, and serve different functions.
Creed – a concise statement of shared beliefs or principles of a group that guide how it lives and acts. It’s usually written in the first person (“we believe…”) and used as a standard for personal behavior and commitment.
Manifesto – a bold declaration of vision, identity, and intent, often written with energy and aspiration. It declares not just what you believe but why it matters and how it will transform something. It often pushes against what’s currently broken, like traditional masculine behaviors that some say are “toxic.”
Personally, I like the word ‘Creed’ due to my religious background, although it works in a non-religious context. I also dislike the word ‘Manifesto’ since mass shooters often use one with their intentions to justify their actions. I may use another description, such as Declaration, Proclamation, or Action Plan.
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Follow along as I write a Friendship Creed, followed by a statement or declaration that develops and promotes better male friendships.
Feel free to comment on this post and throughout this subset. Please also share this widely so we can enlist more people on the quest for better male friendships.
