As I begin concluding my case for Better Male Friendships, I want to encourage wives to support their husbands and his male friends. Over the years, I’ve seen too many guys feel guilty (or made to feel bad) for taking time away from their families to be with friends. However, I actually believe that most wives want their husbands to have better friendships. This post supports my theory that spending time with high-quality men helps us become better husbands, fathers, and men.
Men Need Male Friends
Throughout this series, I’ve written about the epidemic of loneliness, especially among men. Some guys say they have a few really good friends, but statistics show most have none. Recent studies show that 57% of men report feeling lonely. Another shows 15% of men claim to have no close friends at all. Yes, that’s right, no one knows them well enough to know when they are struggling and need help. They have no one to call for advice. They have “zero” friends.
Like many guys, I once struggled with workaholism. Others retreat into their proverbial “man cave” to deal with the pressures of life. Too many guys mask their stress with addictions to alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Some guys spend too much time on their gaming systems or streaming services rather than engaging with the world.
Sometimes, our male friends actually hold us back rather than help us grow. Today, we see too many immature males with “toxic” behaviors on TV, in the movies, and on the streets. We need more men who properly model mature, responsible manhood.
These are the reasons men need better friendships… and your wife should want you to enjoy friendships with better men.
Encouragement from Wives
My book, Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendships, includes three heartfelt letters from wives who share their perspectives on their husbands’ friendships. Each describes how it enriched their lives and their marriages. Together, these testimonies reveal that close, faith-based male friendships are not a threat to a marriage but a source of strength, balance, and growth.
Here is a summary of these letters in the book to support your case for making better male friends.
The Benefits of a GodBuddy to Our Marriage
Kathy Davolos, reflecting on the friendship between me and her late husband Chris, emphasizes that she never felt uneasy or threatened by the closeness of their relationship. Instead, she saw how it deepened the trust and communication within her own marriage.
She recognized that men sometimes need to process work and life stresses with other men before bringing those conversations home. For Chris, having a safe and confidential male relationship gave him perspective, eased burdens, and ultimately made him a better communicator and partner. Because Chris’s friendships were never secretive, she always felt reassured rather than excluded.
Kathy likens these friendships to the way women value deep female bonds, noting that they strengthen both individuals and marriages. She encourages wives to support their husbands in pursuing such friendships, since they create healthier, more open marriages—and even leave room for wives to enjoy some space for themselves.
Perspective of “Mrs. GB”
Patsy Johnson, married for over fifty years to my original “GB”(our nickname for GodBuddy), Bill, echoes this endorsement. Pat explains that while she and Bill had many mutual and individual friendships over the years. But she noticed something distinctly deeper in our GodBuddy relationship. Our meetings over a beer never disrupted family life, and she appreciated the intentionality in how we balanced his time. She points out that men often struggle more than women to develop deeper friendships, yet such connections are vital for navigating life’s challenges. She recalls how Bill leaned on my support when considering early retirement, valuing another man’s perspective alongside her own.
For Patsy, seeing her husband benefit from this trusted relationship affirmed the importance of men seeking out GodBuddies. She encourages wives not to be skeptical but recognize how much these friendships enrich their husbands’ lives. By extension, it also enriches their marriages. Pat also highlights the blessing of shared couple-to-couple friendships, noting that she and Bill became close me and my wife, Cyndi, as well.
My Husband’s Growth as a Man
My wife, Cyndi describes how she saw me grow in my faith and as a husband through involvement in men’s groups and eventually through my GodBuddy relationships. As my work stress mounted and balance became difficult, she saw how joining a men’s group provided the encouragement and perspective I needed. Cyndi freely admits she could not fully relate to my career pressures. But, she also saw how my friendships with spiritually mature men gave me new insights that she could not provide.
Over time, Cyndi watched my faith deepen and my leadership at church grow. Looking back, she sees that these male friendships transformed me into a better husband, father, and role model. Her advice to wives is to encourage their husbands to build strong male friendships, even if it means some time away from home, because the return is a stronger, more spiritually grounded marriage.
Male Friendships Complement, not Compete with Marriage
I hope you see how these wives also benefited from their husbands’ male friendships. While our gatherings over coffee, dinner, and recreation activities meant time away from our families, they became powerful complements.
Share this post to your wife. More importantly, don’t feel guilty spending time with other men. Male friendships helped our marriages and families become stronger, something the world needs more of today.
Next Up: Some final thoughts on Male Friendship.
[Feature Photo Created by ChatGPT]
