Throughout this series about 2025 as The Year for Better Male Friendships, I’ve highlighted experts’ concerns about the growing epidemic of loneliness. Some point to The Decline of Friendship as a key factor. Others argue that social media has made staying connected easier—even as smartphones contribute to Male Disengagement from the Real World, leaving us with fewer close friends. However, I believe the real issue isn’t the number of friendships we have today but rather their quality. This post explores the biggest challenges men face and how cultivating deeper, more meaningful friendships can help us overcome these challenges; ultimately making us better men.
The Root of All Our Problems: Pride
If you ask any man about his biggest challenges, you’re likely to hear a multitude of issues. These may include financial struggles, job stress, marriage and raising children, time management, anger, and lack of confidence, among others. The list could go get quiet long but I believe all these challenges fall into three basic categories:
- Managing Work-Life Balance
- Reordering Priorities
- Resisting Temptations
These struggles are not new. They have existed since the beginning of time—since Adam and Eve first disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden. And at the core of all these struggles is one central issue: pride.
Dangerous Opportunities
In his book, Living in the Light: Money, Sex, and Power, Pastor John Piper writes about how pride is the root of everything. The book’s subtitle: Making the most of three dangerous opportunities suggests that money, sex, and power are not evil in themselves but can be dangerous when misused.
Piper says money (defined as a cultural symbol to exchange in the pursuit of what you value), sex (one of the pleasures you most value and pursue), and power (the capacity to pursue what you value) are not necessarily evil since each was God’s gift to us. However, all three can be problematic for some males (I hesitate to call them men) who are driven by ego and pride.
Likewise, I believe the struggles of work-life balance, misplaced priorities, and unchecked temptations can become a problem when we let our pride take over —causing us to misuse God’s gifts.
Our Toughest Challenge is Maintaining Sexual Purity
While I’ve grouped the challenges into three areas (work-life balance, proper priorities, and resisting temptations), I believe there is one more that deserves special attention: maintaining sexual purity.
Several years ago, I read a book called Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. The book, widely praised for its man-to-man tone and practical advice, describes an issue many men grappled with— lust, unchecked sexual desires, wandering eyes, and self-gratification. Published in 2000, when Internet-based pornography was just beginning to run rampant, the book sold briskly and exceeded one million copies by 2013. Its success led to several related titles, such as Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle, Every Man’s Marriage, and similar books for women: Every Woman’s Battle and Every Young Woman’s Battle.
A few years after reading Every Man’s Battle, I led a weekend retreat for our church’s men’s group focused on maintaining sexual integrity. We examined God’s design for sexuality, explored how Satan uses deception as a weapon against us, and why sexual impurity is so pervasive today. The retreat provided a biblical foundation and practical strategies for overcoming temptation. It was a powerful weekend that helped men replace impure desires with a clearer understanding of what it means to be a godly man in this area.
It also helped me realize that men need higher-quality friendships that hold us to higher standards for manhood.
Overcoming Pride through Quality Friendships
So, how can we as men begin to overcome these challenges—especially the challenge of pride? By building deeper, higher-quality friendships.
Men, we are not meant to do life alone. We need brothers in the battle. We need strong friendships to help us fight against the struggles of managing work-life balance, reordering priorities, resisting temptation, and maintaining sexual integrity.
In my next post, I’ll explore the type of friendships that I believe every man needs. Stay tuned.
[Feature Photo by Roman Kirienko on Unsplash]
