I kicked off this year in my last post about why we need common language for the pursuit of better male friendships. In this next post, I start with a “Creed” or core statement that describes the aspects of friendships that build men up and encourage them, rather than break us down and beat us up. It describes high-quality friends who call us up to a higher standard of manhood and hold us accountable. Better male friends who provide support when its needed most, and celebrate our successes. Men that help us become better men.
While my GodBuddies concept has a faith-based foundation, I believe every man needs deeper, more authentic friendships, even if religion or spirituality isn’t your thing.
My hope is that having a Male Friendship Creed casts a vision that inspires you to develop better friendships. In subsequent posts, I’ll provide something of a manifesto; a broader declaration that challenges the traditional norms for male friendships. I will follow that with some action items to help build your inner circle of friends, including an easy-to-use, 12-week guided journey into true authentic male friendship. I will finish with a Friendship Covenant that will strengthen the commitment between men who want to enter into a new type of friendship to become better men.
Before I suggest this Creed, let me briefly recap why I believe men need better friendships.
Why Do Men Need Better Friendships?
Today, most guys only have surface-level relationships. Driven by technology, busy schedules, and societal pressure, we are experiencing a “friendship recession” that leaves many men feel lonely and isolated. Many men find it difficult to find deep, genuine connections. So we need to help them find better friends.
After writing my book, Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendship, and making my case on this blog for 2025 as The Year for Better Male Friendships, I am convinced we need new goals for male friendship. A vision that inspires us to surround ourselves with better men. One that challenges the immature male behavior exhibited too often these days. Friendships that builds better men who teach young males what it means to be a mature and responsible man.
Other Experts Believe in Men
This is not just my belief.
In addition to the experts listed in my last post (Richard Reeves, Michael Kimmel, Christine Emba, and Barack & Michelle Obama), others write about the factors impacting impact boys and men. This includes Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness; Drs. Warren Farrell and John Gray, co-authors of The Boy Crisis; and Christina Hoff Sommers and Coleen Marloby, who penned The War Against Boys: How Misguided Policies Are Harming Our Young Men.
They all suggest the need for healthier forms of manhood focused on positive development. We need to help males rediscover their purpose, and improve their physical & emotional wellness. Most importantly, we need to help break them free from restrictive gender roles and the behaviors the media calls “toxic” masculinity and “male rage.”
So let’s start our pursuit of better male friendships with new language for the foundation on which you build a new “band of brothers.” Here is bullet-point version but you can download the full version with the rationale and related Bible verses below. Again, this Creed applies whether you’re a churchgoer, a skeptic, or somewhere in between. Let me know what you think by commenting to this post.
The Male Friendship Creed
In our commitment as men who refuse to do life alone:
- We believe male friendship matters.
- We believe men are not meant to walk alone.
- We believe friendship is not built on convenience, proximity, or shared activity alone.
- We believe men grow best in small, intentional circles.
- We believe high-quality friends help each other become better men.
- We believe in authenticity over performance.
- We believe growth requires discomfort.
- We believe in building trust and keeping confidentiality.
- We believe accountability is an act of respect, not control.
- We believe in speaking the truth with love.
- We believe in encouragement, loyalty, and consistency.
This is our commitment to deeper, more authentic male friendships. It is how we walk together as men and resist isolation. It is how we will help each other become the mature and responsible men the world needs today.
My next post is a manifesto that calls for us to transform how culture views masculinity and male friendship by living out this Creed. Watch for later posts for the other items that propel you to reclaim brotherhood as a force for good. Good Friends. Better men.
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***Download the full Male Friendship Creed here***
