This next post about techniques that develop Better Male Friendships describes how to strengthen a relationship with another man into a type of friendship that I believe every man needs, one that I call the GodBuddy. This technique provides the consistency and focus needed to ensure your deeper, more authentic friendship lasts.
Men Need Brothers; Not Just Friends
With this series, my hope is to help reverse the negatives trends for boys and young males by showing men how to develop and maintain better friendships.
Due to the recent epidemic of loneliness, too many boys and young men are failing. Studies show alarming rates of unemployment, a gap in educational achievement, and increased patterns of suicide. The Decline of Friendship, leaves many males today feeling lonely and having no close friends that they can confide in. We need better men to train and mentor boys and young males about proper manhood. They can also model how to surround themselves with better friends.
Building Your Brotherhood
My previous post, How to Deepen and Sharpen Your Friendship, explained the technique of “sharpening” each other into better men. It’s a concept based on my favorite Bible verse: Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another.”
In earlier posts, I stated that most male friendships start by Finding Commonality and Building Chemistry. As friends get to know each other better, they begin Developing Trust and Establishing Confidentiality, which often leads to a good friendship.
However, this level of relationship often plateaus at this point. It needs other traits to grow into a deeper friendship.
As men develop deeper, more authentic friendships, they learn how to use Empathetic Listening. They begin showing Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Transparency as they are more open and honest with each other. These men learn to practice Non-judgmental Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Unconditional Love as they confess their flaws, weaknesses, or transgressions. They use gentle Confrontation, Confession, and Accountability to work through their issues and challenges. Their Loyalty and Dependability help each other through the ups and downs of marriage, raising children, job changes, and financial decisions. They may even explore the eternally important matters of faith and beliefs.
What differentiates GodBuddies from other types of friendship is that they provide Prayer, Support, and Encouragement. They also share the Desire to Learn and Study for Improvement to learn how to become more like Jesus, our ultimate role model. The Son of God also showed us the model for close friendship with His inner circle – the twelve disciples, who He taught to become better men to change the world.
Ways to Strengthen Your Friendship
Once you establish a small group of friends for this kind of brotherhood, here is how to develop consistency and focus to ensure your GodBuddy relationship lasts.
- Meet Regularly
GodBuddies make themselves available and meet consistently. Make it a goal to meet or call at least every week to start. You don’t have to make a big deal about meeting at the same time and location. However, you will show your GodBuddy how important they are when you meet or call each other on a regular basis.
- Keep the focus on Christ
I stated earlier that the goal for GodBuddies to learn how to be more like Jesus Christ. They live according to God’s higher standards as described in God’s Word, the Holy Bible. They share their life together and learn to love and serve others. There is no better role model than Jesus Christ, so continually learn about Him and model His ways.
A Caveat About Friendships
Enjoying deep relationships with other men should not exclude you from having friendships with women. God created us for relationships. Jesus spent time with men and women alike. We are called to love others equally as brothers and sisters.
However, men are wired differently. We have different sexual desires and goals for our relationships, especially those outside of the one with your spouse, if you are married. The key to becoming a godly man is to understand, honor, and respect these differences.
Next Up: A Word of Caution for Opposite Gender Friendships.
[Feature Photo Created by ChatGPT]
