As I continue to make my case for Better Male Friendships, I will finish this portion by describing a pair of important traits: teachability and the willingness to improve. These qualities are key to what I call a GodBuddy friendship—a deeper, more authentic kind of friendship that I believe every man truly needs.
Men Need Other Men to Become Better Men
No matter your spiritual background or religious beliefs, most would agree: boys and young men learn best when they have strong, principled male role models. As they begin their journey toward adulthood, they are shaped by those closest to them—especially parents, friends, extended family, and the people in their community. Engaged fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and mentors—like coaches, teachers, pastors, and youth leaders—play a vital role in that development. Male influence from those who’ve already walked the road to manhood is especially critical to understanding manhood and masculine behavior.
Of course, the influence of women is also valuable. Mothers, grandmothers, and female mentors help boys develop compassion, empathy, emotional intelligence, and communication skills.
But when it comes to learning resilience, responsibility, and respect, the example set by mature men is irreplaceable. These men help shape a boy’s character, guide his growth, and give him a clear picture of what it means to truly become a man.
As Stu Weber, author of Locking Arms: Shoulder to Shoulder, Man to Man…God’s Design for Masculine Friendships puts it: “Men need men to become men.”
Traits that Transform Friendships
Throughout this subset of posts about the traits of friendship, I’ve used excerpts from my book, Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendships, to differentiate a GodBuddy-level friendship.
I began by suggesting that most male friendships start by Finding Commonality and Building Chemistry. As men spend more time getting to know each other, they begin Developing Trust and Establishing Confidentiality, which creates a good friendship. But most friendships plateau at that point, since they lack the depth to help each other grow and meet the challenges of being a man. This is especially important in eliminating the immature masculine behavior that some believe is “toxic.”
In GodBuddy friendships, men learn how to become more like Jesus Christ, our ultimate role model for manhood. They begin to practice Empathetic Listening and show more Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Transparency. They are more open and honest with each other about their flaws, weaknesses, and transgressions. GodBuddies exhibit Non-judgmental Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Unconditional Love, since Confrontation, Confession, and Accountability may be needed to work through life’s challenges. This leads to greater Loyalty and Dependability, along with providing Prayer, Support, and Encouragement.
GodBuddies are also teachable and willing to improve. They learn how to become a better man by becoming a disciple of someone wiser and more mature.
Becoming a Disciple of Better Men
At its core, discipleship simply means to be a learner or someone who:
- Follows the teachings of another,
- Embraces their wisdom, and
- Helps share what they’ve learned with others.
For personal growth, become a disciple of another man you admire. Build a friendship so you can learn from their experiences. Find out how they live, how they lead, and how they grow. Ask about their successes and their mistakes. Get their perspective on manhood. A good mentor can help you face life’s real challenges—job changes, moves, marriage or divorce, or major decisions.
When it comes to spiritual growth, being a disciple means learning from someone who has deep biblical wisdom—a pastor, mentor, spiritual director, or mature Christian friend. Your willingness to become a disciple of Jesus is a trait that differentiates GodBuddies from good friendships.
Learning from a GodBuddy
GodBuddies also learn how the Bible applies to everyday life since it’s a friendship rooted in mutual growth. During my own spiritual journey, I’ve discovered eight key benefits of studying the Bible with a GodBuddy or in a men’s group that strengthen both your faith and friendship:
- Builds Routine: I’ve participated in a weekly men’s Bible study for years. This consistent habit became the foundation for my spiritual growth. Knowing others were depending on me added accountability and eliminated excuses.
- Increases Learning and Retention: Asking questions helped me learn more deeply. Our group’s motto is “There are no stupid questions.” Talking through doubts helped me understand—and remember—biblical truths better.
- Provides New Perspectives: My GodBuddies see the world differently than I do. By discussing and even debating Scripture, I’ve gained new ways of thinking about life’s problems—especially those most men face.
- Makes Studying Fun: Reading the Bible alone can feel dry. With friends, we laugh, share stories, and even hang out afterward. Bible study became something I looked forward to.
- Encourages Comparing Notes: People learn in different ways. I take notes and review them later. Talking through our takeaways helps me catch things I missed—and learn what stood out to others.
- Develops New Skills: Studying with others improves real-life skills like listening, cooperating, and thinking critically—skills that apply at work, at home, and in all relationships.
- Welcomes the Holy Spirit: Studying the Bible together creates space for the Holy Spirit to move. I’ve felt God’s presence in powerful ways during our discussions, and others have too.
- Deepens Friendships: Sunday morning chats only go so far. But when I opened up about personal struggles, others reached out—and that’s how deeper friendships formed. Vulnerability leads to connection.
Quite frankly, teachability and the willingness to learn with a group of like-minded guys also add the accountability and depth that is also needed in a GodBuddy relationship.
Biblical Support
Here are several bible verses to remind us to be teachable and learning how to improve:
- “That the wise man may hear, and increase in learning; And that the man of understanding may attain unto sound counsels.” (Proverbs 1:5 ASV)
- “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7)
- “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.” (Proverbs 9:9)
- “Listen to advice and accept instruction, so that you may gain wisdom in the future.” (Proverbs 19:20)
- “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:9)
Better Men Learn Together
Today, too many men try to go it alone. But men learn best from other men. As John C. Maxwell writes in Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, teachability is a choice. It means being open to new ideas, new feedback, and growth—especially from others who care about your personal development.
I’ll admit, I was nervous to join a men’s Bible study at first. I didn’t know Scripture very well and felt intimidated. But the men in my group were patient, encouraging, and helped me grow without judgment. I subsequently learned that godly men grow best in community. They surround themselves with other men who challenge and support them—helping them become the men God designed them to be.
Next Up: This wraps up the traits that transform regular friendships into GodBuddy relationships. In the next post, I’ll share practical steps for developing better male friendships that lead to lasting personal and spiritual growth.
[Feature Photo generated by ChatGPT]
