Author: Rich Gorecki

Why Men Need Friends

In my series of opening posts on this blog, I explained why men need more authentic and genuine friendships or what I began calling “God Buddies” more than 10 years ago. At that time, I saw the need (and had the need myself) for some deeper relationships with a small number of guys. Today, many men today have only shallow acquaintances. If they have any friends at all! Before I explain further why men need friendships —and especially why we need God Buddies, let me briefly recap my opening posts. Recap In Where Did All My Friends Go? I wrote that our relationships with childhood friends, high school chums, and college buddies, all change as we move into adulthood. Dealing with the stresses of adult life often leads to isolation and many men medicate with workaholism, over-eating, drinking, drugs, gambling, pornography and anger. Next, in Loneliness: a Huge Threat to

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Stress: The Other Component of Friendlessness

In my last post on the epidemic of loneliness having an impact our health and development of deeper friendships, you should know that stress also affects our relationships, especially those with our guy friends. But how? First, some brain-science Our internal social support system is based on a balance of hormones including oxytocin, which decreases anxiety levels and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system calming down responses. Oxytocin also stimulates our desire to seek out social contact and increases our sense of attachment to people who are important to us. Proper levels of oxytocin also help balance out another stress hormone called vasopressin, which is associated with fight-or-flight behaviors such as enhanced arousal, focused attention, and increased aggressive behavior. Under stress, people generate inadequate levels of oxytocin, which is needed to balance their output of vasopressin. This imbalance leads to feelings of anxiousness and loss of confidence in an ability to

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Loneliness: a Huge Threat to our Health

My last post, Where did all our friends go? walked through how our friends change in childhood, college, and as couples throughout our life. For men, in particular, the loss of close friendships often leads to isolation and dealing with the stress of life in unhealthy ways. Often we deal with it all alone! Loneliness is Killing us A 2017 Boston Globe article by Billy Baker titled, The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness. is the story of every man. Baker describes men in particular as cut off from their friendships by being over-scheduled pursuing the great American dream, the demands of work and family, of carpools and commutes. This applies to older men but it appears in rising numbers in younger men too. Our Mask Doesn’t Help My experience is that a large majority of men prevent their friends from really knowing them due

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Why Men Need Friends

In my series of opening posts on this blog, I explained why men need more authentic and genuine friendships or what I began calling “God

Read More »