Let’s be honest—most men don’t like to talk about depression. We might admit to being tired, stressed, or burned out, but saying “I’m depressed” feels awkward, weak, and uncomfortable. For many of us, it’s easier to push through, stay busy, or hide behind humor. But keeping silent when we struggle can be harmful and potentially deadly. I know this personally, from My Work-Life “UN-balance” Story that teetered on depression.
As I continue this series, One Man’s Voice…in the Noise. I want to help cut through the confusion and stigma about male emotional and spiritual struggles. This post reflects on two articles by Dr. Jed Diamond, a psychologist who’s spent decades studying men, relationships, and emotional health. His initial writing—Homecoming: An Evolutionary Approach for Healing Depression and Preventing Suicide” on MenAlive, plus a follow-up titled Part II of Homecoming, an article by Dr. Michael Gurian, an expert I follow about the brain-science differences between boys and girls. Each offers both science and soul-healing advice for men wrestling with their inner pain.
Depression is a Signal, Not a Shame
Dr. Diamond reminds us that depression isn’t just “feeling sad.” It’s our mind and body sending a message: something in our lives needs attention. Through an evolutionary lens, he suggests that men’s emotional wiring developed to help us survive, yet alerts us when we’re disconnected from our purpose, love, or our community of friends.
But today’s world often punishes men for slowing down or showing emotion. We’re taught to stay strong, solve problems, and never ask for help. That mindset can trap us in silence. When we ignore those inner warning lights, depression deepens. It’s no surprise that suicide rates among men remain alarmingly high.
According to recent statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health, the suicide rate among males is, on average, 4 times higher than among females (22.8 per 100,000 vs 5.7 per 100,000) and higher at every age rate for males than females:
Diamond’s message is that healing begins when we treat depression as a signal instead of a shame.
Healing by Learning Better Balance
Dr. Diamond suggests healing is a call to return to balance—to care for our bodies, reconnect with trusted people, and rediscover meaning in our work and relationships. In his words, it’s a “homecoming” back to who we truly are.
I agree wholeheartedly and the reason I wrote a series in 2024 called Becoming a Well-Balanced Man. The series included posts about The Benefits of Becoming a Balanced Man and separate posts on becoming Emotionally-Balanced, Mentally-Balanced, Physically-Balanced, Financially-Balanced, Socially-Balanced, and Spiritually-Balanced. I wrapped that series up explaining how Friends Help Each Other Become Well-Balanced.
Coming Home to Our Whole Selves
In the follow-up post, Dr. Gurian shows how Diamond digs deeper into the emotional and spiritual side of this journey. Many men, he says, are “exiled” from parts of themselves—especially the tender, grieving, or sensitive side that our culture labels as weakness. Healing depression, then, isn’t just about medication or therapy; it’s also about reclaiming our full humanity.
That’s something we talk about often in the GodBuddies community. We all need safe spaces _or what I heard some recently call “brave” spaces) among trusted brothers who allow us to be real—where we can talk honestly about fear, failure, and faith. As Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” When we walk alongside each other, we give one another permission to “come home” emotionally and spiritually.
Finding Hope Together with Friends
Both of Diamond’s articles point toward a hopeful truth: depression doesn’t mean a man is broken—it means he’s being invited to grow and reconnect. Healing happens when we stop running from our pain and instead let it draw us closer to others, to ourselves, and to God.
If you’re struggling, don’t isolate. Reach out—to a friend, counselor, pastor, or your GodBuddy. Don’t face the darkness alone. The way back isn’t about proving strength; it’s about rediscovering your purpose and reconnecting with true friends who help you become a better man. To me, that is the real “homecoming” every man needs.
That’s my voice in the noise for this week. Feel free to comment or share this post with others. Then look for another installment of this series next week.
[Photo by Adam Custer on Unsplash]
