The basis for my case for 2025 as The Year for Better Male Friendships is the recent epidemic of loneliness in the U.S. and the Decline of Friendship, especially among men. This next post lists the specific traits of a GodBuddy friendship and explains the differences between traits and Principles of a GodBuddy Friendship that I described in my previous post. These traits, which I will detail in subsequent posts, will transform a good friendship into a deeper, more authentic friendship that helps you become a better man.
The Difference between Principles and Traits
Friendship, at its core, is built upon the principles of trust, loyalty, and mutual support through shared experiences and understanding. Traits, on the other hand, are the specific characteristics or qualities that individuals exhibit in their friendship. Think of this way: principles are general guidelines, while traits are the behaviors and characteristics that demonstrate those principles in action.
“There are no rules for friendship. It must be left to itself. We cannot force it any more than love.”
—William Hazlitt, 18th-century English essayist, social commentator, and philosopher
There is no perfect path to friendship. You can’t force someone to be your friend, and you can’t force a good friend to go deeper with you. However, you can become a better man by developing and maintaining better friendships.
So I will start by defining a GodBuddy relationship, then list the specific traits needed for this authentic, trusting, and accountable friendship. Subsequent posts will describe each of these GodBuddy traits in more detail.
GodBuddies Defined
GodBuddies are a small group of men who intentionally form a friendship for the common pursuit of becoming more like Jesus Christ. They are men who follow God’s commandments and live in contrast to how the world believes males act these days.
These friends encourage and pray for each other. They hold each other accountable to righteous living. They are open and honest about their flaws. These men grow together spiritually and study the Bible together. They meet frequently for recreation to remain physically and emotionally strong.
GodBuddies understand they were designed for a bigger purpose. They volunteer, serve, and financially support organizations that help others in need.
The GodBuddy Traits
Here are the specific traits of a GodBuddy friendship that add depth and endurance for a long-lasting, accountable relationship:
- Commonality and Chemistry
- Trust and Confidentiality
- Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Transparency
- Good Listening and Empathy
- Acceptance, Non-judgmental Forgiveness, and Unconditional Love
- Confrontation, Confession, and Accountability
- Loyalty and Dependability
- Patience and Kindness
- Prayer, Support, and Encouragement
- Desire to Study and Improve
Of course, there is more detail in my book, Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendships, that you can also purchase on Amazon or directly at this link on my website.
Building Stronger Friendships
The blueprint for my GodBuddy concept is the Bible, which provides plenty of wisdom on friendship. Like a well-built home, your friendship will take time to construct, so it needs a solid foundation (principles) and a strong framework (walls) to weather the many storms and difficult moments of your lives.
Scripture also reminds us that friends “sharpen” each other (see Proverbs 27:17) by living to high standards and avoiding the influence of today’s culture. GodBuddies provide encouragement and prayer to persevere through the difficult times of life (James 1:2-3). Like shingles, scripture and prayer will cover and protect your friendship, since God promises to cover and protect you through the storms of life. (Matthew 8:23-27).
The Bible is the story of Jesus, the greatest man of all time, and the architect of friendship. He taught the twelve disciples how to become more like Him. He charged the disciples to become better men. Jesus taught them to love and support each other. He prepared them to become men who changed the world.
So why not follow Jesus as your role model too?
What’s Next?
My next several posts will describe each of these GodBuddy traits. Consider gathering a group of guys to read the book together to learn more about the principles and traits that help you become a more godly man.
[Feature Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash]
