Since writing my last post, The Life-Stages of Friendships, I stumbled upon some interesting statistics about the amount of time people of all age groups spend with friends. This alarming data about our decline of time with friends and increased levels of anxiety today, is just another reason why I declared 2025 as The Year for Better Male Friendships. In this post, I’ll recap some of this data and why it has led to The Decline of Friendship. In the subsequent post, I’ll suggest the proper amount of time needed for friends as I continue to make my case for better male friendships.
Do Smartphones Cause Social Deprivation?
I recently picked up a copy of the New York Times bestseller, The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. It’s a must-read for all parents because it explains how we changed from “play-based childhood” to “phone-based childhood” which is causing an epidemic of mental illness, especially among Gen Z (those born between 1997 and 2012). The author suggests the rapid integration and use of smartphones and social media since 2007 has contributed to a rise in mental health issues, reduced our face-to-face interactions, and increased the levels of anxiety, depression, cyberbullying, digital addiction, and social isolation.

Jonathan Haidt suggests that 2007 changed life for everybody. After the release of the iPhone on June 29th, we moved from “basic” flip phones for calls and texting, to being connected to the internet 24/7 with apps that ping us continually throughout the day. Haidt believes the release of the iPhone4 in 2010 –with its front-facing camera making taking selfies and posting images to social media easy- accelerated this decline in the amount of time spent directly with friends.
Page 121 includes an interesting chart about the average time spent daily with friends from 2003 through 2019. It shows a decline across all age groups but is most prominent among teenagers & young adults ages 15-24. The author highlights the period between 2010 and 2015 as the beginning of this rewiring of childhood. He points out that by 2015, Pew Research reported that 1 of every 4 teens said they were online “almost constantly.” By 2022, that figure nearly doubled to 46%, which he believes advances the decline in face-to-face time with friends and increases the levels of anxiety even further.
But it’s not just young people who are online constantly and spending less time with friends.
Everyone Spends Time Online

Recent data from Statista shows the oldest of the Gen Zs (those born in 1997) are now online even more at 62%, with their older siblings and parents online at higher rates as well. The implication is the more often people are online, the less time they have for friends which increases loneliness.
Additionally, new post-pandemic data from Morning Consult, commissioned by Cigna, finds that more than half of U.S. adults (58%) are considered lonely and that loneliness and mental health concerns often go hand-in-hand. This is fairly consistent with pre-pandemic research and points to continuing troubles due to the lack of time directly interacting with friends.
Less Time with Friends than 20 Years Ago
Is it a coincidence that smartphones have been around for almost 20 years now? Or has life just become more busy these days?
An American Time Use Survey data in the Washington Post shows all age groups are spending far less time with friends than they did 20 years ago. Just two decades ago, Americans spent an average of 60 minutes per day with friends. In 2023, that number dropped to 26 minutes.
Certainly, some life-stages are less suited to spending more time with friends. Young parents, for example, often have a hard time keeping in touch with friends from their pre-parenting lives. Twenty years ago, 20-year-olds spent 158 minutes per day with friends but only 60 minutes today, a 62% reduction. For 35-year-olds, the average time per day dropped significantly from 30 minutes to 18 minutes over the last two decades. For 60-year-olds, the average is now only 17 minutes per day.
The difference today is people go through these life stages more isolated. We spend more time by ourselves, in front of screens of our screens doom-scrolling social media, gaming, scanning for pornography, or watching our favorite streaming service.
Maybe we need to change how and where we spend our time? The impact can be dramatic, as I attested to in Re-Prioritizing My Priorities.
Friendships are Difficult For Men
Older men are also found to have a hard time maintaining friendships. According to a 2021 American Perspectives Survey, men have suffered a far steeper decline than women. Thirty years ago, a majority of men (55%) reported having at least six close friends. Today, 15% of men say they have no close friendships at all, a fivefold increase since 1990.

Unfortunately, young males are faring worse than most: More than one in four (28 percent) under the age of 30 reported having no close social connections.
All this data is why the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy declared a loneliness epidemic in the U.S.
Why Men Lose Friends
Men tend to lose friends more easily and more often than women so we need to preserve friendships or create new ones. It’s especially important as we grow older since research shows that friendships can make us happier and reduce stress. My next post will explain some of the reasons why men lose friends.

Read more about the importance of friends in my book, Get Out Of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendship. Find practical ways to develop closer, more genuine relationships that help us become better men. While based on biblical principles and standards of living from Jesus Christ, the book is valuable to everyone. Get the ebook or printed copy on Amazon. Click here or on the picture to get a signed copy. I also offer discounts on bulk orders for your men’s group.
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[Feature Photo by Sayo Garcia on Unsplash]